Five Things I Won’t Do in 2020

In all complete honesty, it has possibly been one of the worst years I’ve ever experienced. And while I’m naturally an optimistic person, it has been difficult to see many positives. Which, in itself, is something that probably upsets me more than the things I’ve actually struggled with. Naturally, I’m looking forward to what I always see as, a ‘clean slate’, and making five changes that will hopefully aid 2020 in being a much better year. 

Firstly, I don’t see this as a New Years Resolution – as I find them impossible to stick with and personally, a complete waste of time and energy (kudos to you if you can see them through – you’re a better person than I am). Rather, these are five different ways of thinking, which I feel will result in a more content year and overall better mindset.

Strive to control my life: One of the biggest disappointments this year has been not getting on a teacher training course for the third year in a row. It has really tested my confidence and self-belief, to the point where I think I may not apply again. However, I’ve realised this disappointment has stemmed from believing that I can, in some way, plan my future – which is completely untrue. Life is unpredictable and if constantly battle against that, I will ultimately be disappointed by the outcome. 

Compare myself to others: Similarly to the point above – not getting what you want and what you work for, results in a natural feeling of ‘why am I not good enough?’ ‘Why can I not do the things x person does’ and generally leaves you feeling inadequate. In reality, your strengths lie elsewhere and it’s just a matter of finding what you’re naturally good at. Experiment and say yes to experiences you may usually say no to and you never know what you could find. 

Concentrate on the negative: I think I’ve spent a lot of 2019 focusing on the bad, what has happened or what could potentially go wrong. It’s easier said than done when it seems everything is turning to crap before your very eyes, but there is always some kind of a silver lining, even if you have to search harder than usual to find it. Just keep searching. 

Be my own worst critic: I’m definitely guilty of being hard on myself, perhaps more so than ever this year, but I deserve my own patience & kindness that I give so freely to others. And the same applies to others who are critical of every mistake they make; there’s only one version of you and you, of all people, should not be making yourself feel bad for things that are out of your control. 

Live in the past: Finally, I will no longer live in the, ‘I wish I’d…’ ‘I should’ve…’ ‘I could’ve…’ – the past is done and dusted. For the most part, nothing can be changed and so it shouldn’t take up any emotional energy in the present. You live and learn from your experiences, no matter how good or bad. The past is essentially the foundation of who you are right now, the choices you’ve made and the person that you’ve become, which is something to be happy about. 

Overall, I won’t let this year make me hard & miserable. It has taught me a lot, about myself and others, and there are lessons to be learned in even the hardest of times. So I’m ready for another 365 days, no matter what they bring. And I hope 2020 is a wonderful year for you too!

Happy New Year!

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