I feel like I've been having a bit of a blog identity crisis lately.
A continuous circle of 'what am I doing?' and 'I don't like where this is going.' I don't know why, but I feel a little bit disconnected, a little bit pushed for time and a whole lot confused.
You see, I started this space during my Year Abroad, in a peaceful little village in Southern Spain. I posted whenever I wanted, about whatever I wanted (I don't recommend trying to find those posts, by the way) and I enjoyed the sense of freedom & spontaneity that came with it. Fast forward numerous name changes, a growing readership & generally taking blogging as a more professional outlet, and of course, things have changed - a lot.
Everyone has upped their game in the blogosphere. Editorial look-books and magazine worthy beauty posts have become the norm. I'm not complaining; things change and you either have to move with the times or fail trying to fight against it. I'm just not sure if I lost a piece of myself and who I really am, what I love to post about and what I truly want to share, along the way.
I found myself setting up unwritten rules on how often I should post; piled on unnecessary pressure for something that is, essentially, a hobby; I started writing for stats, rather than what I enjoy - and I don't know if you can tell, but my heart just isn't in it 100% anymore. If anything, pushing myself to post 3 - 4 times a week has resulted in quantity over quality and I've reached for the easier option (beauty) over things that will take more time (illustration) - which is not what I want this space to be.
That doesn't mean to say I'm going to stop certain aspects of what I post - perhaps just a slight change of direction.
Because, I'm not the blogger who will always have the newest, latest product or be invited to the biggest pr events (nor will I probably ever be). I can't cook like a chef or bake like a GBBO contestant, nor have the patience to plate it in a pinterest-way. I don't have a unique look or a crazy, interesting lifestyle. I'm not immensely knowledgable in one particular area. I can't apply my make-up like a pro or do my hair in any sort of style, and lets not even talk about manicures... but that's just me.
I applaud those that have built their empires on exactly that, that's what people are good at and/or interested in, plus that's what a lot of people want to see. I love reading them, too, but when it comes to recreating or putting my own spin on it - something just isn't clicking at the moment.
I'm not saying I'll never post about beauty or haircare, etc, again; lets face it, I'll always love make-up, but maybe I'll leave the majority of it to the pros; just sharing a couple of my favourites with you here & there and I'll stick to more personal posts in the meantime.
Perhaps nothing much will change - perhaps I'm (definitely) just rambling, but a little self-reflection never hurt anyone...