Monday, 12 March 2012

The Attack of the Anon & Unsupportive Females.

Image from VIPXO.

Bitching, gossiping, bullying, back-stabbing, insulting.

Whichever way you want to put it, if you've been through it - you know the awful, soul destroying pain that comes with it.

Through high-school, my teens and even in my twenties; someone, somewhere it seems, has something to say about you.

I know I'm not alone, as the past couple of weeks I've seen numerous things pop-up online which have disturbed me. Surprised me, even. I thought these years of picking on people were left in the playground, but it seems we're entering a new age of the 'anonymous bully' and an era of 'women turning on women.'

It's dreadful to observe & even worse for those on the receiving end.

I've been following the wonderful blog of VIPXO for a while now - a great fashion / designer inspired page with wonderful pictures of Victoria herself (always immaculately dressed!). Shes a proud size 14 - the same as me, and possibly the majority of your average female in the UK.

Yet after a while I noticed a stream of extremely negative things being said about her. Comments varied from her shape, size & appearance to why she blogs about what she does...

It baffled me as to what gives that person the right to think it's acceptable to essentially bully someone else, when they don't even have the front to put their name to the insult? It makes me question what that other female really gains from saying something, which if said to them, would be extremely hurtful? It makes me think about all the other female bloggers or anyone who puts their life out there; who are dealing with the same problem.

A never-ending vicious circle.

It is so disappointing, in a world that is so 'dog-eat-dog' that we are turning on each other. Victoria isn't the first to receive this and sadly she won't be the last - yet this shouldn't be the case.

It seems it is spreading as far wide as the press, too. Articles suggesting that women generally aren't as supportive towards each other as men are. That we dislike seeing other more successful, more beautiful, more talented, women. Some people disagreed, yet I can't help but wholeheartedly agree.

"It’s a dirty little secret among women that we don’t support one another"

I speak about the majority; as I've experienced it first hand - women refusing to help me, 'friends' gossiping about me, generally un-supportive of any success that may come my way - IT HAS TO STOP.

The greatness that can come from women sticking together & helping each other is vast. Now I speak of the minority & I take the wonderful Bangs and a Bun and her new Spikes & Heels project as the best example out there.

Bangs is the forefront of, what should already be happening, the encouragement and support for other women [to partake in exercise and lead healthy lifestyles] - A movement that could be applied to every aspect of our daily lives.

We are strong & powerful creatures and we can do great things - when we help each other.

The next time another female asks for your help, swallow your ego and do so. The next time you think about talking about someone behind their back, remember; karmas exists. And [just in case any cyber troll is reading this] before you think about sending that anonymous comment whilst hidding behind the safety of your computer - stop to think; how would you feel? What do you gain?

We are all unique, individuals, with different strengths and ambitions;  a fact that should be celebrated, not criticised. And no, one small blog post will not help change this, but it may change even one persons way of thinking - and if so, then it has achieved something.

Even if not; just reach out and give another person a hug. Complement the woman in the office that dislikes you for no reason. Tell her one nice thing about herself. Make peace with your enemies and forgot those that are attacking you. Stand up proud of who & what you are because you deserve better than this.

*dismounts podium*

So please, ladies,

start today with a clean slate, and make it a positive one.




  1. Stands up and applauds.

    I completely agree. It is difficult enough to make our way sometimes without being dragged down by other people. Unfortunately sometimes it is the very people who scream sisterhood the loudest that are the ones taking and not giving.

    Anons used to drive me insane, now I just picture them living in their mummys house eating shreddies in their underwear and I can usually get past their spitefulness

    Great post. We all need to support each other just that little more x x

  2. Love reading your blog Sam, couldn't agree with this more!! xx

  3. Thank you! Haha, yes, love that mental image.

    & Completely agree, it's a sad state of affairs when we can't give each other a pat on the back every now & again! xx

  4. Great post! And I totally agree.

    Bangs changed my life by asking me to be part of Team Bangs On The Run #3 in more than just a 'getting fit' way. Never really had a lot of female friends mainly because of the reasons you talk about, but Bangs really showed me that there are amazing and inspirational and talented women out there who do help and support other women, her being one of them to start with.

    So sending some hugs your way - I know you've been supportive of me & my running journey so far, something I really appreciate! So thanks :) x

  5. Thanks Orsii :)

    Yes, likewise! My trust & belief in female friends because of the reasons above has never been that great, but then Bangs & TBOTR2 came in and changed all that - so I'm very grateful.

    You're going to do so well in Berlin! I can't wait (already) to hear all about it! Xx

  6. I completely agree and it's such a sad shame that so many women are like this to each other.
    There are so many around me and my sisters that I have very few friends because of it and I wish I could find some girl friends out there that were willing to be supportive and stick together as it should be. Not constantly compete to attempt to gain "one up" on their friends.

    It has even actually started to make me feel a little jealous of men for their well known ability to stick together and that shouldn't be happening!

    What ever happened to Girl Power?!

  7. Brilliant post Sam. Girls can be so incredibly cruel to each other and especially online from behind the safety of their screens. x


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