Saturday, 10 September 2011

Making Friends with Me.

I'm sure I'm not the only woman out there who has, at some point, truly fallen out with herself.

By this I mean, hating everything about what you see in the mirror; every bump, every wobble, every dimple or unplucked eyebrow hair. Disliking where you are, or what you're doing with your life. Whether its media pressure, what's considered 'the norm' or your own high expectations, by thinking this way you generally end up feeling - horrible.

Well this has been happening to me, on & off, for as long as I've been able to look in a mirror and think "urgh." It's not just a vanity thing, but a deep rooted mental state of mind that has led me to change (normally about twice a year) everything about myself.

Hair colours, styles (a lot of them bad, or home-done and terrible (which I'm not saying is a bad thing, I'm just an idiot and can't do it) I've dieted, been vegan, been vegetarian, been a pescatarian. I've done pilates, I've counted calories, I've been up at the crack of dawn to obsessively exercise. I've changed my wardrobe from rock - to - hippy - to - student - to - baggy awful things - to - what I thought would make me fit in. I've cried and cried and wasted tears pathetically on myself - but why?

I simply didn't know who I was. (and I'm not claiming I still do, exactly) but I now know, that "I like me."

And it may seem like an easy thing to say / type, but actually, it really isn't. Me & myself have a long way to go to end up deeply, head over heels in love with each other, but for now 'like' will do.

There are so many reasons to love you for who you are, inside & out. But heres just a few, in case you need reminding :)

  1. You are unique. There is only one of you in this entire world. Just one. Make the most of you, because you're special. In whichever way 'making the best of you' may be, play your own strengths, discover new ones, do what makes you happy and you will see the benefit.

  2. People like people who like themselves. There's a line between confidence and arrogance, but people who like themselves are attractive to other people, because more often than not their happiness / confidence spills out. Your inner goodness will be appealing.

  3. Life becomes easier. To an extent. Liking yourself is one less worry for you to hold. One more weight off your shoulders. You have more time to focus on what makes you happy, going out there and doing it.

  4. "If they don't like you, its their loss" - quote, my Great Grandma. Stop trying to make everybody happy, because the truth is you never will. Please you first. In this world it is me, myself, and I and while it is great to think of others, trying to please everyone is impossible. People come in and out of your life for a reason, appreciate them while they're there, but don't worry when they leave.

  5. You minimize self sabotage. If you don’t like yourself, if you deep down don’t really think you deserve what you go after then you will tend to sabotage for yourself. Perhaps in subtle ways. You may get a gut feeling that this success is wrong and so you start doing stuff that screws things up. If you like yourself there will be a lot less self made obstacles in your mind to overcome on your path to success.

I'm not saying I'll stop changing the colour of my hair ;) (actually thinking of going back brunette at the moment) but, I have finally, for the first time in my life, come to accept who I am. And I'm not embarrassed to say that I like me, and neither should you.



  1. Wonderfully written. I'm not sure if there are many people that have been to that place you're talking about, but I certainly have! People need to hear this even if they are 26 and have struggled with it since forever.

  2. Thank you ! Yes I've heard back from a couple of people who have said they've experienced something similar, its a shame, but at the same time I hope they overcome it eventually :) x

  3. Oh, the road to 44 would have been so much easier to navigate had I learned this at 22! But, I have a "wealth" of experience to draw from when I need some reminding! :-D Great post!

  4. :) aw good, so glad. Thank you! Yes, I'm glad I've kind of realised earlier!

  5. Just popping over from FTLOB. Thank you for sharing these (very personal, I'm sure) insights. So many people struggle with appearance insecurities, but hopefully if more people speak out about it, we can address whatever causes it!

  6. Hey Shannon, thanks for stopping by :) ... I agree, it seems more people than I thought agree and have felt similar, its a shame, but hopefully talking or reading or addressing this will help, even in a tiny way :)

  7. Such a great post. I need to remind myself of all these things! xx

  8. [...] say it loud & proud because I’m not actually ashamed of my size nor my weight* -shock horror- and so, as I see numerous people on diets, ridiculous ‘health’ plans [...]


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