I was worried, I was clammy, I was searching in my bag for pens and paper...
Today was the first day, of my last year at uni,and I was as nervous as I've ever been on any other first day I've had in my life, if not ten times more.
I don't exactly know why today had such a profound effect on me, but it did.
I was sat in the lecture theatre, glasses on, pen in hand, near the front; pretty much a replica of my very first day as a fresher - wondering what was about to happen, if I'd understand it, and worried about all the work thats about to hit me.
It was just that. A wave of information to take in, important dates, exam weeks, even graduation, and it was all brought home to me just how important this year is about to be and how hard I am going to have to work.
Languages do not come naturally to me, it's difficult to say what it feels like to come from a "D" in my Spanish A Level to finishing a degree in Language Studies. Its nothing short of amazing to me, and there are days when I do feel proud of myself and I'm not ashamed to admit it. When I graduate I will be the only person to ever have a degree in my entire family.
Its been a difficult road, if we're being honest, and I have struggled and had to work harder when maybe other people who can finish work in one night,or dont have to revise, but hopefully - in the end, it will all be worth it.
On another note - I decided to apply to be a Language Ambassador today too, I think if anyone can talk about languages - its me. It's the one thing in life I truly enjoy and think I could passionately talk about, and trust me I could go on for a while - I'm excited, and hopefully if I get it, it will be an enjoyable role. I like to think I could at least inspire one other student to keep going with languages, even if it is tough.
Over all, I feel ready and quietly confident about this year, its going to stressful, hard work and frustrating but I think I can do this... Even if I just pass I will be happy.
So heres to the next nine months, and the adventure still to come.
yes, I am fully a geek - and I'm happy to accept that label :)